Scandalesque
by Sin Siriche Dubh
Summary: The Cullens are a family of vampires that run and star in a local burlesque show. When a young inhibited girl contacts Esme to help her come out of her socially awkward shell she takes the family for a wild ride. Cannon pairings, sexual experimentation...
1. Prologue

~*Scandalesque*~

The Cullens are a family of vampires that run and star in a local burlesque show. When a young inhibited girl contacts Esme to help her come out of her socially awkward shell she takes the family for a wild ride. Cannon pairings, sexual experimentation and lemonade.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No copyright infringement is intended.

oOoOo

"NO! NO NO NO!" I yelled after the fifth try, "If you keep messing up I'm going to break your knee caps!"

"What was wrong this time?" asked the annoying human girl. We were adding another act to the show and with just the three of us girls it was hard to keep a variety and the allure of her blood pumping doubly hard behind her veins from the dancing was making us all a little edgy, especially Jasper.

"You think too much. Your moves aren't sensual and sinuous; they are over-rehearsed and stiff." I said walking across the stage towards her. I started to emphasize the oomph in my step and when I got center stage I performed the sequence that we were working on perfectly. I had the advantage over the young human girl, being a vampire and knowing that I could do the same sequence over and over again with out tiring and exactly the same. In all reality she was doing well, but I needed her to think that I was a taskmaster for perfection to explain the consistency of our burlesque routines. I was Dommine Atrix (Domin-Atrix) afterall, and I loved the role of hard ass when it was time to play.


	2. Madame

I like these new naughty Vamps. :) Once again, Exposition is the name of the game so the first few chapters may be a little slow while we get a handle on writing in tandem. :)

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No copyright infringement is intended.

oOoOo

BPOV

"Why in the hell would I want to go see grown ass women flaunt their eating disordered perfectly beautiful naked bodies?" I asked my best friend Angela.

"They aren't naked," she started.

"Pasties and glittery thongs!" I interrupted.

"You are missing the point. You really need to get out of this apartment. You are becoming a recluse and you just turned 21!" she argued. "Use your new found social freedom to actually be SOCIAL. Come hang out, drink, see cute boys, and enjoy the scantily clad people." She said, holding up her hand to stop my argument

"There are pretty almost naked men too, and boy-howdy are they nice to drool over."

"It's really that important to you?" I asked defeatedly.

"Yes, even the Super asked if you were still alive." She said. That really drove the point home. The super was an ancient polish man named Jan (John) who shuffled about with a broom in his hand all day.

"Ok then," I said. "But no excessive cleavage or pants that I cant sit down in." I said seriously. She gave me a look that said 'Are you kidding me' then agreed.

"Baby steps, Bella doll, Baby steps."

--

"Why did I agree to this again?" I asked, sitting at a high top nursing a vodka cranberry waiting for the show to start. The club we were at featured a burlesque show every Thursday to help boost sales on one of the slow nights of the week. I had done a little research on my laptop while Angela and her cousin Jess tag teamed my hair and make up. Jess was in the Air Force stationed at Luke Air Force Base in AZ, so while she was on leave we decided to hang out at some local hot spots, this show being one of them. The show was put on by a 'Troupe' that featured 3 female and 3 male dancers. They also allowed up-and-comers a chance to perform with them if they had the 'right stuff.' All the reviews I read said that the show was awesome and would make you want to take your significant other home right after.

"You wanted to get out of your reclusive ways and enjoy a night on the town." Angela answered me.

"So where does this god awful comedienne come into play?" I asked.

"Well, she's here for you to make fun of while we wait for the sexy." Jess responded. I really liked her; she was down to earth and had a dry sense of humor like myself.

"Well, the sexy better be damn good to make up for that dreadful woman." I said before downing my drink. They both just stared at me, then Jess started to laugh.

"Well that's one way of making her funnier," she laughed and followed suit. "The same?" she asked me getting up to refill the drinks.

"Surprise me." I said with a wink.

"Where the hell did that come from?" asked Angela.

"I need to steel my nerves if I am going to make it through the night," I said. She gave me a sympathetic smile and said thanks.

"I really do appreciate you coming out tonight," she said placing her hand on mine.

"I know, and I am glad in here. Its just...awkward." I replied.

"Well we'll just keep going out and you'll get used to it." She said with a huge smile and a squeeze of my hand.

"And here they are, ladies and Gentlemen, for your visual pleasure, Scandalesque!" shouted the terrible Emcee lamely.

"They really need to hire someone else," Jess said placing 3 fresh drinks on the table. We watched the dance floor as 2 couples started to dance around and on some of the large support beams. I was pleased to see that they were pretty well clothed, I didn't need to see nipple this early in the evening. The two couples danced their way on stage where a lone woman was waiting. Her outfit reminded me of Satine from Moulin Rouge, right down to the top hat. On the stage they started their strip tease taking off various layers of clothing as the dance progressed, the couples fighting for dominance with an under current of same sex lust. The Madame, as I was thinking of her, pulled an apple out of nowhere and started to use it. 'Instructing' the dancers to bite, and doing an intricate bite-dance-bite routine, where the dancers would bite the apple while it was still in the others mouth. It transferred from person to person, just biting, tasting, not eating. It was sensual, hell it was almost erotic. I was caught up in the show. The girls did some numbers. One of them, the tall blonde 'Lulu LaRue' sang a song that was as sexy as it was sad. The little dark haired one, 'Pixie DeVine' did a strip tease with a guy she picked out of the audience, had him start to unravel her "dress" which was really a long strip of fabric, and worked him into a chair on stage then proceeded to dance around him while tying him to the chair. There was one of those old fashioned strip teases where there's a chaise that the girl lays on while she disrobes, it was ok, not up to par with the rest of the performances. After a few more numbers the show was over and I was enthralled. The fact that those women could be so comfortable with their bodies that they could willingly perform in those stages of undress, it was a concept that I just couldn't wrap my head around. There were cards on the table for the group and I grabbed one. It was my turn to go the bar for more drinks and I was waiting for a bartender when I heard a voice beside me.

"You will never get a drink if you just stand there like that." I turned to see the Madame standing next to me. "You need to be more aggressive, and use your womanly wiles." She said.

"He'll get to me when he has a chance," I said.

"Suit yourself, sweetheart." She said before getting her order taken and walking away.

I stood there for 5 minutes, getting increasingly pissed off that I was being passed over for the whore-ier looking chicks. So I decided to listen to what the Madame said, and I pulled my top down, to show more cleavage and crossed my arms under my breasts and leaned on the counter so that they were on prominent display. I was helped with in 20 seconds. I got my drink order and was making my way back to the table when I heard her again.

"I see you caved." She said, nodding at me from the VIP section.

"Well it was go thirsty or sacrifice some dignity for booze…and the booze won." I replied.

"You aren't sacrificing dignity," she said, "you are asserting you self in a way that maximizes your sexuality."

"Well that assertion makes me feel kind of cheap, but I'll think about it your way next time." I said holding the drinks up a little as I made my way to the table.

"I hate bartenders, it's either guys who only serve big tits, or chicks who only serve dicks so they can maximize tips." Jess said as I placed the drinks on the table. I was about to reply when I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"You look like someone who needs a boost. Gimmie a call sometime." She said with a wink while she handed me her card. The group walked out the door and I was stunned.

Angela grabbed the card out of my hand and squealed something about that being just what I needed but I was focused on the woman walking away. There was something compelling about her and I wanted to know what it was.

--

I awoke the next morning surprised that we managed to make it back to the apartment in a drunken haze and pass out in our rooms. I don't drink normally so I was nursing a hang over when the girls came out of Angela's room. I managed to give them both death glares for having the nerve to look perky and well rested.

"Are you going to call?" asked Angela, popping some chocolate chip Eggos in the toaster while Jess poured coffee out of the automatic coffee maker.

"Call who?" I asked cringing at how loud we sounded.

"Dommine Atrix" Jess said.

"Who? I asked again rubbing my temples. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Don't you remember last night at all?" they asked in one of their eerie in synch moments.

"I remember the beginning. And middle parts. The tail end fuzzes out so I am blaming you for any and all things that happened as well as my headache."

"You remember the gorgeous brunette woman that gave you her card?" Angela asked.

"The one that took an interest in you at the bar and then while she was leaving?" Jess added.

"Oh, I dunno. I need time to sober up and be normal." I said.

The morning passed by in a breeze and I was on my way to work all too soon. I worked as a lab aide in one of the design studios at the School of the Art Institute of Chicago or SAIC. My shift passed faster than I though possible and I was in the middle of a design change on one of my larger pieces when Mike placed a hand on my shoulder, thoroughly freaking me out and causing me to squeak and jump in my chair.

"Sorry Bella, I didn't mean to scare you," he said, "I just wanted you to know that you can leave whenever."

"Its ok," I said, my hand over my heart as I looked at the clock, "You're early."

"Ya, I need to finish my mid term for Epley's class," he said.

"Ok, well then I'm going to head out if you are sure you can handle it." I said starting to pack my things.

"Not a problem, see you Monday?" he asked hopefully, just like he always did every Friday.

"Of course, I wouldn't miss Marc's class for the world," I said sarcastically. He was a nice enough teacher but he thought every thing he said was hilarious and was always laughing at his own jokes or stories, which he repeated, frequently.

I called Angela on my way home to see what they wanted to do for dinner since it was 4:45 and I hadn't eaten anything real all day. We decided to meet up at the Gage Restaurant and Tavern. Its one of those 'olde tyme' bars/restaurants with mahogany wood and oiled leather, a little pricier but its nice to splurge a little from time to time.

As always the food and service was great and we were on our way back to the apartment when Jess brought up last night again.

"So have you given any thought to calling that woman?" she asked.

"What?"

"You know that one from the club." She said.

"Honestly, no. Real life has been keeping me busy today," I replied.

"How was the lab?" Angela asked.

"Good, I got to work on my project for a few hours until Mike let me go early."

"Ah, good old Mike. How is the pup today?" she asked acerbically.

"He's fine, and don't talk about him like that. He just…well he doesn't take a hint." I said harshly.

"Well maybe, if you actually gave him the hint he could take it." She responded just as stern.

"Lets not ruin the evening by having this ridiculous argument again, okay?" I said unlocking the apartment.

"Sounds good to me" Jess said before bounding into the apartment and jumping on the couch. "MOVIE TIME!" she yelled smiling.

--

I was getting ready for bed when I noticed the card on my night stand.

'Dommine Atrix , Head Dancer/Creator Scandalesque Burlesque Review.' There was a local number listed on the bottom of the card, I flipped it over and saw she had written something on the back.

"Waiting for your call, Esme."

(_**A/N:**_ So I wanted to end it there…but I decided to keep going.)

I had to admit I was intrigued. There was something about that woman and the way she had a presence about her on and off the stage. I put the card down and finished getting ready for bed. I was drawn to the card and kept dialing and redialing before I grew the balls to call.

I was getting ready to hang up after the third ring when I heard a voice.

"Hello?" asked a sexy male voice. It was like crushed velvet caressing my spine, and I got goose bumps.

"Hello?" he asked again.

"Sorry, uh, I was wondering if Esme was there?" I asked, there was no immediate response.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Oh, uh, There is no one here by that name." he said.

I looked at my phone and realized that in my redialing I had transposed 2 of the numbers.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, I misdialed." I said embarrassed.

"I didn't mean to bother you so late, have a good night." I said getting ready to hit the 'End" button.

"Has anyone ever told you, you have the sexiest phone voice?" he asked, effectively keeping me on the line and making me more self conscious than I have ever been in my life; including my modern dance recital where I had to wear a nude body suit that actually made me look naked.

"No." I squeaked embarrassingly.

"Well, you do." He said. It might have been my over active imagination but his voice sounded huskier.

"Well, yours isn't half bad either," I managed to reply, surprising myself with how coherent I sounded.

"So what do two people with sexy phone voices talk about?" he prompted, again rendering me speechless.

"Oh, I know. What are you wearing?" he asked.

"Jammas," was my automatic response.

"Ha," he chuckled, "And what exactly do your 'jammas" look like?" he asked, his voice teasing and caressing me with every syllable.

"Oh you know, the usual," I said with a smile.

"The usual huh?" he asked, I could here the frustrated smile through the phone.

"Yupp, you can feel free to use your imagination on that one." I said winking. I had a habit of making faces at people over the phone, though I knew they couldn't see me.

"Ah, so you are naked, like myself then," he said huskily. There was something about the way he said the word naked that made my nipples harden and a swarm of butterflies to attack my stomach.

"Not yet, but I will be soon," I said.

"So why don't you get that way now, so we are even." He asked and I felt compelled.

"Hold on," I said, pulling my cami over my head, and kicking off my shorts and thong.

"Okay," I said a little more breathy that I would have liked.

"So you sleep naked then?" he asked

"Yes, I toss and turn a lot while I sleep and there is nothing worse that being a prisoner in your own clothes when you wake up." I said candidly. He laughed again and it fed the butterflies.

"So…" he started.

"So." I said.

"Where are your hands?" he asked.

"One is holding my phone to my face and the other is on my breast." I said blushing. For some reason I felt compelled to be absolutely truthful with him.

"OH?!" he asked suggestively. It wasn't until he said that one syllabled word that I entertained any thoughts of touching myself.

"Ya, my hand naturally rests there when I lay on my back," I said. "Just like men's hands are naturally drawn to their penises." I was scarlet after saying that.

"Touché." He said.

"And where might your hands be?" I asked suggestively.

"One is holding my phone. The other is on my cock." He said. The word shot lust through me like an injection of adrenaline to the heart. "And it isn't at rest." He added.

"Oh," was my brilliant response.

I was thinking of a smart quip to come back with when Angela pounded on my door and I freaked.

"Shit, I have to go!" I said then flipped my phone closed.

"Ya Ange?" I called out, breathing heavily.

"Just wanted you to know that we are heading to bed and everything is locked up, Night."

"Night." I called towards the door.

I had a hand over my heart and the other clutching my phone on my forehead.

"I am an idiot." I said staring at the screen. The full realization of what I was about to do if I wasn't interrupted hit me and I was embarrassed and utterly turned on at the same time. Then I realized what I just did and any lustful thoughts were drowned out by the fact that I just hung up on sexy phone voice before any of the steamy sexies could happen.

"Man I'm retarded!" I said smacking my forehead.

That's the night the sex dreams started.

oOoOo

OK people, first real chapter; let's hear what you think.

REVIEWS = LOVE!! :)


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